He Isn’t the One I Expected: He Might Be Better!


When we find a man that we consider to have potential for being “the one“, we put everything we have to give into supporting that relationship. We give all of ourselves and focus all of our energy into making the relationship, picture perfect. But, sometimes that is where we go wrong! We apply too many standards to what the relationship should look like; thus forcing our man to fit into a box. We convince ourselves that he can be molded to fit our idea of our perfect match. But we never consider the possibility that our perfect match may not be the same as we expected him to be when we were just little girls drawing pictures of our future husbands.

We have grown into amazing women, with so many layers and colors; therefore we should allow for and embrace the many layers of our men. There is no doubt that we need to have standards and preferences, but we shouldn’t hold any one to strict criteria that hinder their individual spirit and livelihood.

So what we must do is…Pick Wisely instead of Forcing a pick. Identify the qualities that you absolutely can not do without; such as loyalty, faithfulness, undying commitment etc. But, once you find someone who appears to have those fundamentals, allow them to be the person he is throughout the rest. Accept his shortcomings, by accepting the fact that his life journey and learned lessons does not have to be identical to yours. So what if he doesn’t have the best dinner table etiquette, tells bad jokes, has a terrible sense of style, strange hobbies or has bad habits; if he loves and respects you, then he has already passed the most important test.

You don’t want to drive a good man away, just because you’re being too rigid! Nor do you want to stay in a relationship where the person’s personality just isn’t compatible to yours. So we aren’t telling you to settle! If it isn’t working, then you should let the relationship go before resentment sets in. But, if it is working, and it’s just your long held expectations invading your thoughts, making you question the relationship; then get over yourself and let that man love you in his way! Remember that your love does not have to look picture perfect to be perfect.

By Precious Avorkliyah

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