Love is arguably the most complicated aspect of life, yet it is also arguably the most exciting time of your young life. From our very first crush, to life after marriage, there is one love that most people just can’t seem to get over — the First Love. Our first encounter with deep, complex emotions leaves an imprint on our hearts and minds. It contributes to our initial understanding of love; and furthermore serves as a reference point for future love conquests. So is it really true that we never actually get over our first love?
EGL says … Truth!
Whether our first love was absolutely amazing or dreadful, it is difficult for us to get rid of certain feelings or thoughts about that love. Those feelings and thoughts are something we have never had prior to that amazing or dreadful experience. The thrill of everything associated with the newness of our first love, is what holds us back, causes us to compare all relationships thereafter to the first, and creates expectations.
For those of us who have since moved on from our first love experiences, we’ve come across plenty of ideas, tips, and methods for “getting over our first love”; many of which we can agree has helped. However, we also know that all it takes is an ex’s reappearance to get some of those thoughts and feelings back. Some have said that it takes two years to really get over an ex, but we’re really not getting over the ex, our feelings have just become dormant after a while.
For example, you unexpectedly run into your first love on the street after years of not seeing him … you’ve moved on and so has he. But your stomach is in knots, you’re nervous; and you’re either telling too much, or hiding some information because you’re tempted to see if you still have a shot (whether you actually want one or not). All of those feelings come from the old feelings that have been laid to rest, but never really left.
We’re not saying that you’ll always love your first love and that you’ll always want to be with that person, we’re saying that you’re first love and the feelings associated, are unforgettable and irreplaceable. When trying to move on or put those feelings to sleep, it’s important that you keep your mind occupied and that your thoughts about that lost love are distracted. Find a new boo, pick up a hobby, or do whatever you’d like to stay busy, just make sure you’re not spending too much time thinking about the past because that won’t get you very far. Try to remember what led to the demise of that relationship and know that you aren’t who you used to be, thus an old love might not suit the new you!
By Aramis Grant